english idioms vs. my idioms

an apple a day keeps the doctor away
ur two apples blows my brain away

a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush
my bird is worthy of ur bush

don't put all ur eggs in one basket
u can have my eggs in ur basket

AWOL - absent without official leave
it's actually a weekend of lust

get up on the wrong side of the bed
i shud be getting up from ur bed

never bite the hand that feeds you
u can bite but this hands will still do you

you can't judge a book by its cover
i will not judge ur boobs if u take off the cover..(im sorry was that book? i thought it was.. nevermind)

bent over backwards
bent over and back it up, slow

get ur head around something
get ur head around my head

i hate u

i hate seeing ur ogek, coz it makes me go uuweeaaakkkk
i hate u always skype me, and always type weeeeeeeee
i hate u never brings me to chillis, or secret recipe at least
i hate when ur not online, im so lonely i'll never be fine
i hate watever wtf is, with a smiley of kiss-kiss
i hate u buy me t-shirt so small, what u think im a baby doll?
i hate that the internet here is so slow, i could just slam my laptop on the floor
i hate ur ogek idea of blog, im better off writing about frog
i hate that u almost reminded me of someone else, but she's so special no else could replace
i hate that i couldnt come up with more, but hating u makes my brain so sore

for you...

I've been fantasizing of you all night long

Every time i'm with you I've never felt so strong

you're the one i run home to when the day is done

It felt so right for you never left me alone

As time passes by i can barely bear the pain

So distant from you it makes me insane

I want to caress you I need to touch you

Your skin smooth like porcelain I'll take my time discovering you

No matter the time no matter where you are

Far across the ocean or beyond the shining star

Let me be your one and only

From this moment until eternity

Though im always full of shit

You never despise me not even a bit

You will always have my heart and soul

For you are my only toilet bowl

......................................................................

stupid cupid

This morning I've read an article in the internet regarding complicated relationship; what define it, situations and conditions that legamantically (i made that up, legally + romantically) fits the status and why some chose "complicated" rather than "single".
My own love history, I've never been in a complicated relationship, seriously. And honestly. Mine is just too complicated to be it's complicated. Yeah I'm up a notch in this zone. Okay, I don't have much of romantic tales in my life! Back to the article, it just attract my simplistic side of the brain and it's quite a revelation too.
As the article says, things only become complicated because we want it to. We are just simply afraid of admitting things aren't going to work out with him/her. Or are we not sure? Or because of past wound, the cut is so deep, it's not entirely healed yet.
And then I wondered, does the back-up plan falls into the complicated category?
So the writer came up with a list of what makes it complicated. With some inputs and not so heartfelt scenarios from a very good friend of mine, i'm gonna try to respond to the list. Here's goes...

1. you love your partner, but he/she is intimate with other? - first of all, define the level of intimacy. If it so much involves texting everyday, that's it. Pull the plug. Don't waste all the loving you got.

2. you can't trust you partner, he/she can't trust you? - My friend gave a scenario of a long distance relationship. Of course trust is gonna be a major issue when that someone is living 200miles away. Im thinking, if there is no trust, how can there be a relationship in the beginning?

3. the sex is good, you want more, he/she doesn't? - either it's commitment issue or he/she is just hitching a ride in your minivan before someone else suddenly shows up in a private jet. C'mon, it's sex. But admittedly, I do feel the complexity of this scenario, especially when you are really in love with that someone.
4. he/she says they love you but doesn't ever show it - i don't know how to answer this one.

5. you're in alleged committed relationship but you parter always pull the disappearing act - then you should do the holding breath while submerging in a tank for 10min act. Or sawing your body in half.

6. of the lack of communication between the both of you; you really have no idea what is going on - neither do I. I have no idea on this one.

7. you simply don't love him/her; just waiting for the right time to tell them - wtf. when is the right time? before the priest asked "do you take......"

8. your partner has no direction, no goals, you both aren't in sync; you 're hoping someday you both will be - good luck!!

9. you're waiting on him/her to decide what they want - what do you want?

10. the skeletons in the closet have come out - we all have our past. My friend said,if your partner can't accept you for who you are, walk yourself out. Let me add something. We all have our past. Personally I think, when we start seeing someone new, that mean we have come to terms with our past. And one will have all the reasonable reasons for all he/she has done.

11. there's been too much deceit, and you're deciding if the relationship worth saving - why bother. decide now!!

12. you love the person but you're aren't sure if he/she is what you really want - this is the not so distance cousin of the back-up plan. Personally, I think that is what it's all about. Searching for true love, the one. In dating, we meet people, if cupid happens to be around, we fall in love. But I guess, sometimes cupid does missed his aim.

Right. That's all from my twisted mind

How I foolishly spent my money this year

1. Bought 2 books about some law of life and the universe; how to manipulate our thinking and desires in getting what we want. I've only read one of it, and not even half way through.
2. Becoming a member of some privillege card, which I never use at all. I guess I had too much money that time.
3. Endless supply of booze in the fridge.
4. Dinning in some fancy restaurant, every weekend. I swear I could have cook better food.
5. Buying clothes I only wear once. I'll donate them somewhere. And I should have gone to bargain stores.
6. CDs of movies my friends already downloaded. Next time let them do all the searching.
7. Weekend nights out (sometimes)
8. Over usage of internet. My bills sky-rockected.
9. Cologne...smells like gunpowder.
10. Buying lottery tickets. Hey I've won once. And I spent it all in 1 night.
11. And all those expensive shopping I did when I can get it all at the flea markets.