My own love history, I've never been in a complicated relationship, seriously. And honestly. Mine is just too complicated to be it's complicated. Yeah I'm up a notch in this zone. Okay, I don't have much of romantic tales in my life! Back to the article, it just attract my simplistic side of the brain and it's quite a revelation too.
As the article says, things only become complicated because we want it to. We are just simply afraid of admitting things aren't going to work out with him/her. Or are we not sure? Or because of past wound, the cut is so deep, it's not entirely healed yet.
And then I wondered, does the back-up plan falls into the complicated category?
So the writer came up with a list of what makes it complicated. With some inputs and not so heartfelt scenarios from a very good friend of mine, i'm gonna try to respond to the list. Here's goes...
1. you love your partner, but he/she is intimate with other? - first of all, define the level of intimacy. If it so much involves texting everyday, that's it. Pull the plug. Don't waste all the loving you got.
2. you can't trust you partner, he/she can't trust you? - My friend gave a scenario of a long distance relationship. Of course trust is gonna be a major issue when that someone is living 200miles away. Im thinking, if there is no trust, how can there be a relationship in the beginning?
3. the sex is good, you want more, he/she doesn't? - either it's commitment issue or he/she is just hitching a ride in your minivan before someone else suddenly shows up in a private jet. C'mon, it's sex. But admittedly, I do feel the complexity of this scenario, especially when you are really in love with that someone.
4. he/she says they love you but doesn't ever show it - i don't know how to answer this one.
5. you're in alleged committed relationship but you parter always pull the disappearing act - then you should do the holding breath while submerging in a tank for 10min act. Or sawing your body in half.
6. of the lack of communication between the both of you; you really have no idea what is going on - neither do I. I have no idea on this one.
7. you simply don't love him/her; just waiting for the right time to tell them - wtf. when is the right time? before the priest asked "do you take......"
8. your partner has no direction, no goals, you both aren't in sync; you 're hoping someday you both will be - good luck!!
9. you're waiting on him/her to decide what they want - what do you want?
10. the skeletons in the closet have come out - we all have our past. My friend said,if your partner can't accept you for who you are, walk yourself out. Let me add something. We all have our past. Personally I think, when we start seeing someone new, that mean we have come to terms with our past. And one will have all the reasonable reasons for all he/she has done.
11. there's been too much deceit, and you're deciding if the relationship worth saving - why bother. decide now!!
12. you love the person but you're aren't sure if he/she is what you really want - this is the not so distance cousin of the back-up plan. Personally, I think that is what it's all about. Searching for true love, the one. In dating, we meet people, if cupid happens to be around, we fall in love. But I guess, sometimes cupid does missed his aim.
Right. That's all from my twisted mind
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ReplyDeletetrust me. it shows. inside.